So this happened...
Customer: I worry that books are perhaps bad for us.
Me: …How do you mean?
Customer: Well, they tell us things, don’t they? I mean, how much do we really need to know about the world? Sometimes I think we want to know too much and books force themselves upon us.
Me: I agree that humans have a need to know things, and we want to understand the world. We always want answers. But the books themselves don’t force themselves upon us… they’re just sitting on the shelves.
Customer: Yes but YOU force them upon people, don’t you?
Me: Not really, no.
Customer: You do. You peddle their messages. Like Satan.
Me: … Satan?
Customer: I don’t trust books. They make me nervous.
Me (wondering why she’s in our bookshop in the first place): Well, you don’t have to buy anything, you know.
Customer: No, I won’t. (Pause) Sometimes, I think it’s best to have faith in things, instead of reading about them all the time.
Customer: Faith is important. (Pause) Could I perhaps talk to you about the message of Jesus? (She pulls a copy of the Bible out of her pocket.)
Me: I thought you didn’t approve of books and reading and subliminal messages?
Customer: Oh, but this isn’t a book. No. This is truth. All the other crap you’ve got in here is full of lies.
Me: Ah, I see.
Customer: God wouldn’t blame you if you burned these other books down, you know.
Me: No… but my boss might. So, I think I’ll give it a miss for now. Thanks very much.
Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops