Customer: Hi, I'm looking for a book on local psychopaths.
Bookseller: Well, we have a true crime section over here. There are some books on rather gruesome multiple homicides.
(The customer looks confused and worried)
Bookseller: This book here is about a murderer in Gloucestershire. Is that local enough for you?
Customer: No, erm...
Bookseller (holding up a different book): And this one is particularly violent.
Customer: No no no. Stop! I said I wanted a book on local cycle paths. CYCLE PATHS.
Bookseller: ...Oooh... Yeah. We have books on those, too.
On a separate note, I'm thrilled to have placed third in this year's Plough Poetry Prize. You can read my poem, merlasses, over here.
Hope you're all having a lovely weekend. x