"When we read, we start at the beginning and continue until we reach the end. When we write, we start in the middle and fight our way out." - Vickie Karp
Wednesday, 2 May 2012
Weird Things Customers Say at Book Signings
Wonderful folks! I bring you a new 'Weird Things...' post, with actual weird things - ones not in the book, as they happened over the past few weeks. Enjoy!
Thank you to all the lovely people who have come along to 'Weird Things...' events so far. Thanks also to these people, below. Oh the irony of signing this book in a bookshop.....
Woman: So. Are you the new JK Rowling, then?
Woman: Can you tell me where the children's section is? Me: I'm afraid I don't work here - I'm just here signing books today. Woman: Well... what use is that?!
Man: You should follow my wife around; she say stupid things all the time. Me: Really? Man: Yeah. Not necessarily in bookshops, just in life. Me: Oh. Man: Yeah. Like, she thinks I poisoned our cat. But I didn't.
Man: Who are you? Me: My name's Jen. Man: And what are you doing here? Me: Well, I wrote a book, and I'm here to sign copies of it. Man: You wrote a book? Me: Yes, that's right. Man: You can't have done. Me: ... I did. Man: But... you're deformed. I don't think it's right of you to call yourself a writer if you're too deformed to write. Me: ...I can write. Man: With a pen? *brandishes pen* Me: Yes. Man: Well, I still think it's ridiculous *walks off* Me: *headdesk*
Man: *picks up a copy of 'Weird Things...' and reads the front out loud*: Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops, by Jen Campbell. Me: Yep. Man: You wrote this? Me: I did. Man: Cool. What's your name? Me: ...Jen Campbell. Man: And what's the book about? Is it a thriller or something?
& my personal favourite...
Woman: *walks up to me, holding up a copy of 50 Shades of Grey*: Will you sign this for me? Me: ... I didn't write that book. Woman: But the sign says that you're signing books today. Me: Yes... I'm signing the book that I wrote *indicates book* Woman: Just that one? Me: ...Yes. Woman: Not this one? Me: ... No. Woman: Oh, that's odd. *wanders off*
writer and bookseller living in London. Author of the 'Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops' series. I'm also a published poet and short story writer. My poetry pamphlet 'The Hungry Ghost Festival' is published by The Rialto. I'm currently writing my first novel, and my new non-fiction book, 'The Bookshop Book' will be published by Constable & Robinson autumn 2014. I'm represented by Charlie Campbell at Ed Victor Literary Agency.