Monday, 22 August 2011

weird things people google to get to this blog

Happy Monday, all. I've been amused recently by the google searches which have landed people on this blog. I just don't understand how some of them ended up here, either. Bizarre. Anyway, they're worth a giggle. Have fun!


'Female Black Books Dylan Moran Jen Campbell offspring.'

'how to make sex toys for women'
[I realise this one in because of the 'Weird Book Titles' post, but still].

'John Hegley: I neeeeeeeeed you.'
[Yeah, I'll er, pass that message on.]

'Was Rupert the Bear friends with Robin Hood?'

'Do gay people have sex in bookshops?'

'Fantastic things to say'
[Why, thank you]

'Stop rioting! I'm trying to study!' 

'Jen Campbell: giantess.'
[I hate to break it to you, but I'm only 5ft5

'Is it weird to put my book in a tumble dryer if I drop it in the bath?'
[.... yes]

'I have some of Adolf Hitler's old clothes. Can I sell them online?'
[Dude, be my guest]


  1. Site stats are weird to look at. I get a surprising number of searches for variants of "Can an elephant stand after it dies?" I did write about that, but I'm surprised how many people wonder about this question apparently without my prompting.

  2. I've seen a reference to you with a Black Books mention somewhere, so that one's not so bizarre - someone else has had the same memory and tried to find the link!

    Also re the book in the bath - is it not bad enough you dropped it in the bath, you then have to destroy it further in the dryer? Shame you can't get the IP address and report this book abuser to the book police...

  3. Re the 'Dylan Moran Jen Campbell offspring' - it's more the 'offspring' bit that made me laugh. ;)

  4. After reading the weird things people have said to you, I'm beginning to have much more sympathy for Dylan Moran's character. No wonder he had to drink all day at work!

  5. What a fabulous prompt for writing a blog post--I just may have to steal it some time because I've often wondered the same thing.

  6. Mine from today include "do egyptian maus have powers" and "aran islands bus drivers". My alltime favourite was "does ross noble own a tank". He says he does.

  7. Some of those are pretty strange. Once I had someone find my blog by Googleing Evil Robot Bagel. The only thing I can think of is that it linked to my post on a bagel shop I enjoy frequenting, but it had nothing to with evil or robots. (Maybe it should have, that might have made it more popular.)

  8. I get referred to from a teeth whitening site - which really puzzles me!
    Oooh you are taller than me - I am only five and a half an inch - the half inch is extremely important!

  9. That is a weird collection indeed.

  10. do you think, if we ask nicely, that our friend with the bath will share an image of the tumbledried book??

  11. Very funny. From time to time I Google the title of a piece of writing I am working on for obvious reasons - to see if anyone else has got there first. Some of my titles are pretty way-out. I start with a crazy title and then write the story to fit. 'Evil Robot Bagel' would be a good starting point! Quite often I land on sites that are nothing to do with what I am writing and some of them are pornographic. Luckily the new OS 'Lion' on my MacBook has a quick escape 'gesture' if I happen to hit something naughty while I'm web-surfing in Starbucks surrounded by throngs of people.
    So, I wonder, are some of these searches similarly motivated?

  12. @catdownunder that is called a spam referrer - see my article

    My daughter's blog (she writes these cute little short stories) gets some odd searches.

    I use the searches that get to my blog to find out what people are wanting to know, then write blog posts about those things.

  13. Jim - I refuse to write a blog post on selling Hitler's clothing on ebay ;)

  14. Same thing with catdownunder. I get referred to by teeth whitening and sites for online courses or degrees.

    But Mr Adcock's advice came too late for me. I clicked on the links and I have no idea if the PC is infected. I have a script blocker add-on for my web browser, and a firewall and antivirus software running on the machine, so I suppose I should be all right...

  15. This is hilarious! The best one I ever had on my blog was 'mistaken for a pony'. Which I did actually write about a dog in a children's book that is so large it gets mistaken for a pony. But really, what would cause a person to type that into google? I'm pretty sure I don't want to know!

  16. 'Jen Campbell: giantess.'
    [I hate to break it to you, but I'm only 5ft5]

    Still taller than me you giantess, you. Ha.