Sunday, 12 June 2011

Weird Things Customers Say in... oh, wait.

Weird Things Customers Say #5 is brewing like a fine red wine that then chokes you and makes you spit it back out again. [You can find 'Weird Things..' 1-4, here]

In the mean time, I thought you all might enjoy these gems. Sadly we, at Ripping Yarns, do not stock them. Which is a shame, I suppose.

& for Twilight fans too, no doubt. Though I suppose Edward doesn't sleep; he just glitters. Meyer missed out on an opporunity there. Twilight branded bed!coffins? A money maker, if ever there was one.

... Quite. 

If only I'd had that one when I was a teenager. An amazing self-confidence booster. 

I'm keeping this one here for the sperm guy...

Then there's:

Economical! These are tough times we live in, after all.

again, thrifty! I'm sure our dinner party guests would be thrilled....

........I mean... I don't even... WHAT?!

Hmmm. Must ask my brother what he got up to on his week away with Scouts last month...

and my personal favourite...

So very true.

To make up for the lack of 'Weird Things Customers Say' in this blog post. Have some of this.


Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and try and make a bowler hat out of my pet tortoise....


  1. These are amazing. However did you find them?

  2. The internet is a strange, wonderful... and scary place x

  3. Knitting with dog hair? That's just crazy talk.. Everyone knows cat fur is better...

  4. Andrew - Quite!

    Sam - as for the 'Make your own sex toys' one, my boyfriend bought that for his flat mate a couple of years ago, ha.

  5. How about Penetrating Wagner's Ring?

  6. I almost missed the brilliant tagline on the coffin book: "for woodworkers who want to be buried in their work." Genius. Terrifying genius.

  7. If you have yet to enter the Weird Book Room at AbeBooks, you are in for a few hundred treats:

  8. Oh my word, that is a GOLD MINE! x

  9. I wonder what my wife would think to me putting "How to Be Happy Though Married" on my Christmas list?

    Or "The Man Who Left His Wife and Had a Nifty Time"?

  10. "Knitting with Dog Hair" is actually a lovely book. Yes, I own it. Yes, I have spun yarn out of my Pomeranian's fur ;-)

    But my favourite was "Invisible Dick." I giggled :D

  11. love the john cleese video! thanks so much for that!

  12. Absolutely brilliant! What a fantastic blog you have. I am so pleased that Random House posted the link on Twitter.
    I've just added you to my reader.

  13. I hate myself for being worryingly intregued by 'Make Your Own Sex Toys"