Weird Things Customers Say in... oh, wait.

Weird Things Customers Say #5 is brewing like a fine red wine that then chokes you and makes you spit it back out again. [You can find 'Weird Things..' 1-4, here]

In the mean time, I thought you all might enjoy these gems. Sadly we, at Ripping Yarns, do not stock them. Which is a shame, I suppose.

& for Twilight fans too, no doubt. Though I suppose Edward doesn't sleep; he just glitters. Meyer missed out on an opporunity there. Twilight branded bed!coffins? A money maker, if ever there was one.

... Quite. 

 

If only I'd had that one when I was a teenager. An amazing self-confidence booster. 

I'm keeping this one here for the sperm guy...

Then there's:

 

Economical! These are tough times we live in, after all.

again, thrifty! I'm sure our dinner party guests would be thrilled....

........I mean... I don't even... WHAT?!

Hmmm. Must ask my brother what he got up to on his week away with Scouts last month...

and my personal favourite...

So very true.

To make up for the lack of 'Weird Things Customers Say' in this blog post. Have some of this.

Wonderful.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and try and make a bowler hat out of my pet tortoise....